Agoraphobia

SHARING WITH OTHERS

Page One -Sharing With Others continued Page Two

-Dear Everyone at S.W.A.G., Just had to write a line and let you all know that my trip to Cairns and Pt. Douglas was a BIG SUCCESS - I was terrified (as usual) about the plane trip-but, for the first time I was O.K. I would not say I enjoyed going up and landing, but I didn't worry about it too much. Usually I have to practise my relaxation and breathing all the time throughout a trip (and take mild tranquilisers two weeks before I go) but I found this time, once I was up there I didn't worry at all. I just listened to my tape of Dr. Weekes, "Going on Holiday" read some of my book, talked to my friends, did a puzzle or two and forgot I was on a plane. I got off at Cairns ELATED !. That is the only word you could describe the feeling I had ! Coming home was the same, even though we had to land at Townsville, Brisbane, Sydney and Melbourne. All I felt was weariness - no panics at all. I have come a long way I feel. While I was away, I used to be upset about 'being away from home' but this time I didn't worry at all, infact I could have stayed away a couple of weeks. Perhaps the continual flying only once a year on holidays for the last 4 years has helped me. I must remind everyone that I have been agoraphobic for the last 14 years but with the help of S.W.A.G. and Dr Weekes I now feel that most of my biggest worries in that area have been overcome. There was a time when I couldn't go into a shop without panic or go to a meeting. I am now going to concentrate on driving into unknown suburbs etc., maybe one day I won't worry about that also. Who knows! It is hard to explain exactly, but I feel I have come through a barrier - I now have more confidence in myself, more than I have had for years. I know that I may have set-backs now and then - I am realistic enough to realise this could happen, but I know enough now to sit back and let "time pass". Best Wishes and Love to everyone. JOAN-WATSONIA-VIC

-To my Dear Aggie Friends, Hope you all are still trying and accepting as hard as I am. Do you know something? If there is hope for me there is hope for anyone of you! I have been suffering from agoraphobia for 6 years but just over the last year I have come a long way and my life has started changing. Because I love life and people so much, I did not want to stop just then and there. There were times when I didn't feel like trying any longer. But did I have a choice? No! I realised I wasn't fully living anyway, so may as well try just one more time. I was almost housebound but I had to make the move. I told my problem to some of my friends and neighbours, joined a group here in Darwin, kept in touch with S.W.A.G an saw a psychologist, Though I still have my boundaries, I can shop alone, catch public transport and also for the last 5 months I have been working in a Gov, Dept. full-time as a data processing operator and I love it. Also I notice so many things in my life have improved. I try not to depend on others for my total happiness - I can tell myself I am Me and I am O.K. Today I am not sorry that I had to (and still a bit) suffer from agoraphobia - I feel other people's needs more deeply and know I am a stronger person for it. I have learnt to say 'no' when I want to. Driving a car still remains a major problem but someday this will be an ordinary task too !!!! Well, I am trying to think positively ahead. After going shopping at the centre with my security guard (psychologist) for the first time. I wanted to try again with a friend. I was going to spend 15 long mins on my own. After a couple of bad times I started to enjoy it so much, that I spent half an hour on my own and guess what ??? my friend was waiting for me to congratulate me with a beautiful bunch of orchids. Victory, REAL VICTORY for me! and so lucky to have a friend like her. God Bless her. Hope you are all well, lots of love. NASREEN - DARWIN N.T.

-Dear S.W.A.G. About 2 months ago I contacted you and read some of the information you sent and found it interesting and useful. I never realised there were others the same ( unable to travel on public transport, running to the toilet, unable to go shopping, especially supermarkets). Previously I had been staying in, watching T.V., reading books etc.. Since receiving the information I started to control my breathing, relaxation, boosting my confidence, and have found that I can now go out of the flat with confidence in myself, do the public transport, though only in the afternoons (which I was too scared to do before). I am still a bit shaky in the local shops. I would say I am 90% better off than three months ago. I have had agoraphobia for only 1 year, and know of others who had not known and suffered for many years and mine is nothing to be compared with their suffering, without help or knowledge. I now know that I will be cured very quickly, now that my confidence in myself has returned stronger than ever. Wishes ALLEN - FLINDERS PK. S.A.

-Dear S.W.A.G.At the moment I am waiting for an appointment - 1 hour to go - in the certre of town and it will be the first time in about 15 years that I have driven in a particular car on my own. I have done it weekly with someone else, no trouble at all. I spent the weekend making excuses, like "I'll get a taxi", "the car isn't going well" etc.etc.. I love to hear of anyone who needs help, particularly as I do voluntary work I keep busy dong what I can do within my driving limitations. The hardest part I find in a new venture is 'anticipation' and 'apprehension', days before trying to remain positive. Best Wishes to others. Sincerely TRISH -DEVONPORT TAS.

-Dear S.W.A.G. My agoraphobia started suddenly following sever family problems - I soon found out that I could not leave the house and was completely housebund for 12 months. I couldn't put the washing on the line in the backyard, and could only on a few ocasions manage to get to the letterbox. I had no idea what was wrong with me, neither did my doctor or my friends. Everyone accepted that I just couldn't go out anymore and they came to see me (fortunately). Later in the 'Problem Column' of the daily newspaper it was written about. I asked if others had the same problem, not being able to leave the home and could anyone explain why I could not do this. This is how I found out that I had agoraphobia. I am now well on the road to recovery and can ride the tram into town to shop but still need a friend with me. Learning all I can about this problem has helped a lot and even though I still take tranquillisers I do not take many. JUDITH - MELBOURNE, VIC.

-Dear S.W.A.G. I felt so bubbly and proud of myself - just had to pass on my good news. I haven't been in a car for quite a while and my sons always want to help me. At the dinner table recently, my son who has a car (a little bomb) that I never trusted, suggested I go for a drive with him after the meal - all the other sons joined in agreement. I have been trying to take the step of getting in his car for a couple of years - I took the 'bull by the horns' and off we went around the block. The rest of the family, including the animals all rushed to the front window to watch 'Mum do her bit'! WE drove up and down the street a few times with all eyes following me closely. I was very amused at their enthusiasm and then we went further. I'm on 'cloud nine' like so many of you- there is still plenty to conquer, this achievement has given me so much hope. Each achievement does reap its rewards. I am glad I can share with others who care. JEAN ADELAIDE S.A.

-Dear S.W.A.G. I'm getting along well - a few 'fears' hanging around, but agoraphobia is not the all consuming thing in my life, which it was for some time. I have been studying the past 3 years and play tennis weekly and manage an occasional game of golf, which a few years back would have been impossible. Life at present is enjoyable. I offer this encouragement to others who may be feeling a bit 'down' and thinking they will never be able to beat it; I did feel the same way about it for at least 3 years. Good Luck to you. JOAN - SYDNEY, N.S.W.

-Dear S.W.A.G. Having information about agoraphobia is a tremendous help for we know where to start to work on it. It is great to know that there are still caring people out there; thank you very much. I would like to add that I hope all of you are progressing and the hint that I would like to give you is TRY AND REMEMBER THE BREATHING TECHNIQUES which DO work and most of all a verse from the BIBLE which sticks in my mind constantly: "Fear not for I AM with you". After all God knows of all our feelings and emotions and our need to depend on Him to get us through this problem. Good Wishes RAYMA N.S.W.

-Dear S.W.A.G. I just wanted you to know that you don't have to be fully recovered to go to the dentist. I am not able to have injections but had all sorts of drilling, pins etc. and have been a number of times, after many years. My husband explained agoraphobia to the dentist before hand and came with me. I have proved that the stomach breathing DOES really work. I have joined a Home Fellowship Church. I am thrilled with my progress and want to encourage others. Its a great relief to have all my teeth fixed. JAN - ADELAIDE, S.A.

-Dear S.W.A.G. I tried for many years to get the right help but all I got was more and more frustrated. I was using alcohol to help me get through each day and it became impossible and I was a 'wreck' to put in mildly. Since discovering there was help and believing there was 'a light at the end of the tunnel', I am now a new man. I have a good friend who helped me through to this point and cannot thank him and others enough for supporting me. My drinking problem as gone, (stopped last August, except for Christmas cheer!). The plans I have for the future are numerous, I want to go the film Carmen and lots of other things. I can't read too much at a time but keep referring to the information I already have when I need to. GEORGE - MILDURA. S.A.

-Dear S.W.A.G. Hearing about the travelling you are doing out there I started to want to have a holiday too! My daughter has just been 'around the world' so I got the 'bug' (a little of course). Fortunately a friend and her husband asked me to spend a weekend with them in their shack at Ardrossan on the York Peninsula. I had a wonderful time! Felt a bit anxious at the start, but my friend and her husband were so wonderful to me. It was a real lazy and relaxing time - playing cards, scrabble etc.. My friend and I went for a walk along the beach. On the return home she remembered she had left some sausages out, back at her home in Adelaide, so she would have to go back by herself. Guess who was game enough to say "I'll come to keep you company?" You guessed - yes, me! Drove over again and spent the night before returning to the holiday shack. I hope this will encourage others; all my best to you. MARY- ADELAIDE S.A.

-Dear S.W.A.G. I live on 1/3 of an acre block and have been confined here for 3 years. Luckily I can now visit my neighbours in the street, every night and can walk 2 streets away in 3 different directions. I started getting panic attacks on the golf course. But now that I have the urge to go further, I will and all that I know, I am sure will help GEOFF - N.S.W.

-Dear S.W.A.G. At last I too am beginning to rationalise situations, also understanding when I am overtired - this has overcome the biggest hurdle for me that sets agoraphobia off! Thanks for the information - its great to hear of the progress 'aggies' are making. MARGARET W.A.

-Dear S.W.A.G. I can now sit down and write that I have survived a successful pregnancy and our family can nor boast of a beautiful daughter. I could write an article on pregnancy and agoraphobia. I was anxious at times, that I could have slipped back but the knowledge that I have now have helped me recognise my fears and symptoms. If anything the pregnancy probably helped me develop more awareness and confidence of my capabilities. I stayed five days in hospital which were quite pleasant, I know of non-aggies who have booked out in less than five days. I wish everyone all the best for the future. GLENYS -GERALTON, W.A.

-Dear S.W.A.G. When I first contacted you I was in the 'pits' of agoraphobis which I had fallen into (had ag/ph for 10 years) but last March I began to pick up physically and mentally. One day after a year and 1/2 of only going out by car I just walked into the snow with my daughter in the pram. I didn't take a shopping bag and I didn't set a goal; I just walked - I was out for 1/2 hour and had shopped on my own for the first time in months. My husband couldn't believe that he didn't have to get the dinner that night. From that day, I haven't looked back - I go out every day, I use busses, go in restaurants, cinemas, theatres (still on an end seat, near the exit). I have my 'off ' days just the same as everyone else. There are times I feel down and think I'm never going to make it, but I always do. The YORK Agoraphobic Group also send their best wishes. ANGELA -YORK- U.K.

-Dear S.W.A.G. I can feel the excitement that some 'aggies' get when their goals are starting to come to life ! I have been quite fortunate that I too am coping well. I have had two jobs under the government scheme, the first was for 18 weeks, it was in an office and it helped get a lot of confidence back to myself. Eight weeks ago I started another job with the local council, paving footpaths, kerbing and guttering etc., I really love it!!! The best part is I have not had one day off and that's very pleasing as before I 'panicked' out in jobs a lot! Really freaked me out before! A couple of months ago 'The Sun' run a story on an agoraphobic person and the journalist did write that agoraphobics should have some form of identification on them. I promptly wrote back and told them about the I.D cards you supply. Love to learn about all your progress. CHRIS - PENRITH, N.S.W.

-Dear S.W.A.G. During the years of having agoraphobia my heart would ache and sometimes I thought I was different from others who were progressing and recovering. I have tried many different approaches, some very confusing and some disappointing, however all through these years I have clung to my Bible and believed. I was reading about mind relaxation when suddenly it clicked that was something I needed to do for my recovery. And an important one for me. So I set off on a programme daily, and marked it off daily - a week after, the family was preparing to do the weekly shopping and I felt a spurt of enthusiasm to go (the result of the mental relaxation). So dressed up, I walked down the stairs much to the surprise to my family, their response, "Where are you going?" I was able to be in a large store for 20 mins.- I was dragged out by my family. GLENDA. VIC.

-Dear S.W.A.G. I went through 15 weeks of unnecessary purgatory before I had an operation on my hand at a large public hospital. I look back now and know my fear of hospitals has been greatly reduced because of my recent smooth experience (my stomach nerves were still working quite efficiently though!). I was allowed to have a helper stay with me and also did not have to sleep at the hospital the night before, as my situation was explained before hand! My helper and I chattered constantly for the hours of waiting prior to the op' and this kept my thoughts from straying on to "What ifs" and 'buts'. The staff could not have been more helpful towards me, nor friendlier, and I always asked questions about what was happening to me at each stage. This helped me to keep any other fears from developing, because they were willing to explain everything. My helper was allowed to stay with me until I was wheeled into the theatre, where the sister took over being my 'helper' and even help my hand and offered to get the helper who came with me to come in if I wished it. The specialist wheeled me in to the theatre and said "Well, this is it!"!!. I said spontaneously out loud "Well Lord, I'm in Your hands and their hands, and I know that You know and I know they know what they are doing!" To my surprise I heard a loud "Amen"!!! The staff did everything possible to minimise my trauma but I must add I TOO DID ALL I COULD by doing my stomach breathing and relaxation prior to and during this whole event. I can assure you that this helped to make it go very smoothly. A big 'thanks' to my helper and a pat on the back for 'yours truly'. DOROTHY - ADELAIDE

-Dear S.W.A.G. There are so many things I would like to tell you about .I am now working from 10-3 mon, through to Fri. and keeping very busy = sometimes agoraphobia seems like a dim memory! although a couple of panics, only when I am very overtired or worried. I love to help others on the phone although I am not a qualified person only an almost recovered 'aggie', I speak to other who are just finding out 'what is wrong'. My husband has also been a help, he told a friend's wife, she was so please as she did not know what is was either; How different it is when you actually can get an answer! All the best to you all. ANITA - BRISBANE Q.

-Dear S.W.A.G. I hope everyone is doing fine. I do not go out alone, but I have made a lot of progress. When asked to go out, I do not knock the invitation back, I think "What the heck!" and find I really enjoy myself. I have been to 5 different parties over the last 2 months and they were all at different houses! Also my son was a Page recently at a deb. Ball, I didn't want to go, but made it in the end. I make costumes for the local theatre group, and in the future we are doing a Pantomime (Aladin and His Wonderful Lamp) and I have been asked to direct it! I will be busy in more ways than one. Good Wishes to all. LYNN - EAST HILLS W.A.

-Dear S.W.A.G. Well I made it to Tasmania! Thanks to all the help from others. I really appreciated speaking to an 'aggie' who kept me feeling O.K. at the stop-over in Melbourne. She convinced me to show the hostess the I.D. card, which I should have done before, as it made all the difference! I appreciated the chat with her very much, I hope to call her on my way back. I have also met other 'aggies' here in Hobart and I have honestly up to this point, not panicked! I came over here to visit my son and family and they have kept me very busy. Went in a car to Mt. Wellington, (very high) and in a car, you just look over the edge of a cliff to view a 5 mile drop! I must admit I was scared at that point. Another week and I return to Perth. I am amazed that I an enjoying myself and I know I can do it !!! Best Wishes SUSAN - W.A.

-Dear S.W.A.G. Being an male ag/ph sufferer, I found that my wife is very understanding about the problem although she has never been through anything similar. I first got the problem in my teens and shared the problem with her before marrying. I recently admitted to my boss the limitations I have, at first I didn't want to, but as the years past I felt it necessary to say something as I am slowly progressing with the help of my wife and family - what a surprise when it came out of my mouth, to watch the reaction on his face - it was unbelievable - not only does HE suffer with it but also his wife and sister!!!! So we now all practise together! - restaurants have been conquered. My boss and I are now 'practising ' waiting in the accountant's waiting room. I only wish I had mentioned it before. There ARE many who suffer in silence. Best Wishes MALCOLM -MELBOURNE- VIC.

-Dear S.W.A.G. I always wanted to learn to swim but ag/ph always held me back! I found a friend who would take me and bring me home - so at 55 yr. I started to learn. Seven months later, I have seen the members of the swimming class gradually drop out until I was the only one left! I have now joined the A.U.S.S.I. Club (Senior Swimming International) and go to and from the class on my own! I have found that I can completely relax in the water - (heated pool) which has helped me both mentally and physically and I highly recommend it to all 'aggies'. I know what many of you are saying , " I would be too scared, "I can't do it", "I bet she didn't have ag/ph for very long". I am sorry to disappoint you because I WAS SCARED ! and I thought I couldn't do it and I had agoraphobia for over 20 years.Love to All ELIZABETH- ADELAIDE

-Dear S.W.A.G. Last Mother's Day I went on a family outing or a 1 1/2 hour trip, from Williamstown and under the Westgate Bridge. All the family, including the grandchildren, wanted me to be 'in it', and go for a sail in a small boat - I was scared, buy they talked me into it - and if, I thought, I was going to 'go under' and least they would too, and I wouldn't be going alone!!! Enjoyed the day Regards. JUNE - VIC.

-Dear S.W.A.G. I help my girlfriend with her programme for overcoming ag/ph. I feel I contribute very much as I myself had previously, a similar phobia so can understand it very well. Last week we were with friends for the weekend (her goal, to spend it away). It was a 3 hour drive to get there, by using all methods of distraction possible, we claim the trip to get there a success. The next day was very relaxing and friendly, not a hint of a panic or wishing to go home -not bad for the first time ! By the afternoon, prior to leaving I noticed some agitation starting, so I packed quicker, ready to leave; to my surprise and to Sonia's, the anxiety lessened and we stayed an extra 2 hours. Being tired and feeling confident after the days away, heading home, she actually went to sleep. Needless to say we are both thrilled and wanted to share this with you. Regards. PAUL & SONIA - W.A.

-Dear S.W.A.G. Last year I made the decision to have another go at driving - step by step - now 18 mths later I know I could not go back to not driving - sure I had the shakes, but I worked it out to my own limit (which I think is very important) as this is what I believe gave me confidence to continue. I started at night, till I knew where all the local streets were, then as I progressed I brought my driving time earlier in the day (twilight), till I was so used to the roads I was eventually able to do it at midday. I did have a few setbacks, but am relieved that I have progressed in this area which was my biggest problem. TREVOR -ANGASTON- S.A.

STATE WIDE AGORAPHOBIA GROUP (AUSTRALIA) INCORPORATED
Email address: swag@tne.net.au Phone: 08 8294 6543 Mobile: 0412 226 117

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