Agoraphobia

SHARING WITH OTHERS Continued

-Dear S.W.A.G. Am so thrilled to share with you some events of 'my first holiday' in five years - taken over the Easter period. I and my wife decided to use my son's caravan, ventured to Victor Harbour (85 kms) and Goolwa. I am very fortunate as my wife is very understanding with my problem and she really did keep encouraging me also she let me go 'at my own pace', so I did not feel any pressure. We looked at Hindmarsh Falls, Granite Island, The Bluff. It is really peaceful down that way and I would recommend others to try their first holiday just going slow and not venturing too far. Great to learn about you all Regards. BOB - ADELAIDE-SA

-Dear S.W.A.G. I had to write and let you all know the wonderful thing that has happened to us. A couple of months ago when joining the local video club, a free prize of a trip for two was included. We didn't' think about it at all, as you know of the old familiar saying "I never win anything". Well as time went on the ticket had been drawn and imagine our surprise when the phone rang to say "You have won!" a trip for two to Perth return by Ansett. Still can't believe it!!! I am looking forward to seeing Perth. I have never been there! What's the problem that's worrying me? The PLANE TRIP! I have only ever flown twice!! Once to Sydney and back (1 1/2 hrs.) This trip will be 5 hours one way. I'm O.K. till I think about the flight. I'm sure I'll be all right and hope to enjoy the trip. I have improved greatly. Best Wishes PHYLISS QLD.

-Dear S.W.A.G. It was great to meet June from Melbourne once again. This time last year she was in Adelaide, last time we were in Melbourne. An what a 'new' June we saw - the same smiles and cheerfulness - but new and exciting stories and achievements ! She and her husband drove to S.A. for a holiday - June sharing the driving. A trip up to a 34th floor in the city with her very understanding psychologist helper, was one of the new exciting experiences; not only that, her first ride on a tram and bus for 20 years. On the tram she was waiting for the conductor to come and collect the money for tickets, not knowing how the system had changed! She said her experiences were 'like a child' viewing all with wide-eyed excitement and adventure. The sky is the limit, so look out Qantas!!!. She not only is finding her freedom but has also been helping others for quite some time. Keep up the good work June!. SWAG workers. ADELAIDE -SA

-Dear S.W.A.G. To those who have a problem regarding the 'cooped up' feeling at church. I always go early enough to sit in the back row and on the aisle. I go with my husband or friend. I am hoping soon to be able to go there alone, but it has taken two years to feel this way. The Pastor knows I have agoraphobia which makes it easier for me to go in and out. I carry a tablet, just in case I need it. I also take a few sweets (mainly barley sugar) and watch how my breathing is going. I divert my thoughts if I get a bit tense by reading a favourite passage out of the Bible or favourite Psalm. I find that by doing this I don't need to take that tablet after all or slip out unseen either. Remember that the Promise is there to comfort us. At a Cafe, my eyes go to the door then the menu ! I must add that I know most every toilet in most towns ! To others in this situation, keep looking and if you can't find one ask anyone, so you will feel comfortable during the meal, they will tell you. I hope to be able to shop without searching for one. Regards. FIONA- TASMANIA

-Dear S.W.A.G. I must tell you what happened during the holiday break. My very understanding friend had an extra ticket to a live show at the Featival Theatre in the city and asked for a ride into the city to attend. My husband and I obliged and at the last minute, coaxed me into going IN WITH HER!!! How glad I am that I agreed 'on the spur of the moment'!! (Dressed in shorts, not thinking I would go in) Well, it lasted 2 and a half hours and we were in the centre of the front row ! Although the doors closed, I knew my friend would get me out of there if I had to. Because of the setting of the play, it was quite darkly lit - had a few butterflys but my friened helped me to get my concentration on the play. However I made it and am very glad to have seen the show and grateful to my friend who does understand and that it was one of those 'on the spur of the moment' decisions. Good Wishes to All. KAREN - ADELAIDE- S.A.

-Dear S.W.A.G. How difficult it is for others to understand, (even those who are close) that simple everyday chores e.g., ironing, cutting the veges., making beds etc., can be impossible to be done at times, but thankfully, I now have no guilt feelings about this as I know those chores will fall into place as I progress further. Some days I find it quite easy so I know it will all be easier in the future. I also had visitors to stay the weekend - the first time in two years ! I believe I am calmer because of the breathing exercises and being in touch with others. Good Wishes. NICHOLE - W.A.

-Dear S.W.A. G. I am feeling a 'million dollars' and the simplest things of every day life, each one a wonderful event ! I have done the full circle and can honestly feel grateful for the suffering, which has enabled me to appreciate so much more and also fully understand others ! I never gave up work, but now it is a pleasure instead of fear of every day ! My recovery was aided by another agoraphobic who recognised my suffering, so I did not have many years of uncertainly. Now I endeavour to help in what ever way I can. I find it hard to believe other 'aggies' saying "O but Chris I might never be able to do what you can do". I laugh and reassure them that it was exactly how I used to think all the way through those long months of 'coming to recovery'. Sincere thanks for the Distress Answering Service, I have found it a help many a night. Regards to you all. CHRIS - ADELAIDE-S.A

-Dear S.W.A.G. Just a short note to let you all know how I am going. I work full time and have had ag/ph for 4 years. I am 30 yr. of age. By reading the manuals and other information I have gained the courage to start 'the road to recovery' . Not really knowing what was wrong with me was the 'great mystery' !!! The answers that were given by Doctors, "You are in an anxiety state, just take the tranquillisers". Now as it has been stated before, knowledge used in the right way is wonderful but a loss if used incorrectly. My main problem now is going it alone, this I am tacking (as many others are) I now use the correct attitude, it will take time as you all know but full recovery is worth every 'ups and downs' that occur. STEVE - N.S.W.

-Dear S.W.A.G. I am thrilled to read comments from other 'aggies' who refer to their 'faith in God' or 'I am a Christian'. I too am a Christian. I have been suffering from ag/ph for over 12 mths. Since then I have looked to the Lord for help and guidance and now have a much closer relationship with Him daily. I also have many friends who are willing to help at any time. Sincere Wishes. TANYA - N.T.

-Dear S.W.A.G. Since coming across the Nullabor Desert from W.A. I have met a wonderful 'aggie'; she is an inspiration to all who meet her as I hope to be one day - very soon! I am 75% better and determined to be at least 95% at the beginning of the New Year ! And no-one will stop me, as I have now a compelling urge to get out and beat the minor bits and pieces and I must say at this point, I really do have my confidence back in myself and I do really want to be here for others when they need help ! Am enjoying here after being in W.A. and looking forward to a 2-3 year stay in Malaysia towards the end of next year. Haven't flown for some years and I am 'perplexed' at the thought but I know I will do it when the time comes ! All the Best. PAULINE - N.S.W.

-Dear S.W.A.G. There's a fence around the school on my block; a block I walk around everyday as practice in walking "away from the security of home'. In the past I could not go two feet off my front porch without the support of a person or a prop, for if I did, my whole being locked, took root into the pavement, thinking and blurred vision etc.. Now after months of practice, I walk freely nearly anywhere, but it's the 'nearly' that I think about. Last week it was my 'project' to board a bus alone. A challenge of some proportion as I hadn't' ridden on a bus since the fare was a nickel; I walked a mile to the us stop, then sat and waited only to find my thinking was " What if !!!!it doesn't stop at this exact place??? he lets me off in some unknown area ?? I can't get to a telephone...!!! Then an elderly lady sat down to wait and I settled some of these 'what if's' by asking her questions. She guided me the whole way - telling me where we were going. However, mid-way to the centre of the city, she got off. Simple. The bus whisked off with me in it ! Soon enough I was as 'competent' as I was before I met the lady. I did the round trip and returned proud and self- satisfied to walk the mile home. It will be interesting and informative - like a game - in the days and weeks to come to be aware of an oncoming level and see if all isn't due to my having learned too much on support. When the 'help' causes us to fall back (upon), be wary; but when help helps us to spring forward, then it is all good! JEAN - NEW YORK- U.S.A.

-Dear S.W.A.G. My Aunt flew from Wales to visit the family. I was able to go to the airport to meet her, but couldn't manage to actually go in the building, so I waited out in the car. The thought of panic went as soon as I saw her. During the next few days we wanted to show her around - we took her over the Sydney Harbour Bridge, Cronulla Beach and stayed there for tea - I managed this all quite well and was very excited and pleased with myself !!! However we all went into the city to look over the Opera House - I showed my identity card - and my husband asked could we park inside - the attendant didn't know anything about agoraphobia and said NO! - and he couldn't have cared less as I tried to explain !! This upset the family as my husband had to drive a few streets back and returned to join them while I waited in the car for them. My mother got upset and felt that this could cause me a set back as I had felt guilty not being able to join the rest of the family to look over the Opera House. I didn't want to create a fuss but my mother was determined to do something about it. She wrote to the local MP and explained agoraphobia is a disability you can't see! He wrote a very understanding letter in reply and we received a phone call from the Commandant of the Opera House and said if ever I wish to visit it again just to ring first and tell him and a parking space would be made available!! Any other 'aggie' who may like to visit it just make arrangements before you go - if you have progressed the far, it is worth seeing. My Best Wishes LYN - N.S.W.

-Dear S.W.A.G. Hi All, things are going pretty good and I have reached a point where I am almost living close to the 'normal' lifestyle. Going to work and visiting friensds, but the large hurdle still to cover are the supermarkeets and buses. If there had been help when I first got this condition maybe it would have 'pin pointed' sooner. I have really improved since learning about this problem and understand the steps. RON - QLD.

-Dear S.W.A.G. We are a small group that meet regularly in a large country city in Victoria. We recently went on a bus trip to Bendigo, went through the pottery, visited the Cathedral and a pioneer village - lots of 'tummy butterflies' but at least we went!! Also 5 of our members have been to Wangarrata and met others. We had an interview with a journalist from the local newspaper so we do hope we shall get a response because we all get support from each other ! One of our members is off to Bali with her husband and he is so pleased ! A year ago she would not have even thought about going !!. COUNTRY GROUP - VIC

-Dear S.W.A.G. Last month I flew from Adelaide to New Zealand and back, and spent six days there. A couple of highlights were a trip on a high powered jet-boat, where firstly we were taken on a hydro-foyle boat out to the centre of the Lake in Queenstown. I was fortunate enough to have the best and safest seat next to the driver - I was well rugged up because of the cold and the spray. It took off with great speed and the boat skirmished around and about the trees, turning and banking, sometimes at 360 degrees tilting one way then the other. At one stage the driver made a 'booboo' - both he and I were thoroughly soaked, much to the amusement of the other 7 passengers. The other highlight - I took a 'bubble cable car ' (seating four people) up to the Skyline Mountain which was 1500 feet high. I didn' like it very much and the others were uncomfortable too! but we made it! Before leaving Adelaide I knew of this 'bubble cable car' trip and prepared myself for it, by rationalising it first which was very successful! One more high-light was a trip to Milford Sound - passing through a one mile tunnel, some avalanches, and out into the awe- inspiring, majestic mountains and scenery - breath-taking in its beauty - even posed in full ski gear, just for the effect!! I thoroughly enjoyed the trip. VERA - RECOVERED 'AGGIE' - ADELAIDE

-Dear S.W.A.G. I thought you would like to hear some of my experiences. Being country born I came down to Brisbane to live and work that's when the problems started. I could go for a drive, but when I reached a certain spot (the same each time) that would be it! I couldn't go home to visit my parents and would make excuses also I was too scared to tell anybody ! After 4 years, almost houseboat, I started talking to others about the problem, especially all my family and they understand so much ! I am getting better by talking to a lot of people about it. I am a male and it might sound stupid what I do, but it works. I have found talking about the problem does help ! It is quicker to get over than hiding it. Talking mentally to yourself about truthful facts regarding this problem also helps. I hope this will encourage you. IAN - QLD.

-Dear S.W.A.G. When you first wake up in bed in the mornings tell yourself you are a very special person and today and every day you will make progress. You can tell yourself whatever seems to apply to you personally! After all, we have developed a very negative approach and have to feed ourselves a more truthful and positive outlook. You can say to yourself "I'll know what to do when the time comes", or "Everything will work out alright" when the "What ifs " crop up. Believe me it can be done! Stick with it each morning you will soon know that it works. I used to be housebound, not even able to walk around the corner, even sold my car! Now I am driving again - not everywhere - I have a part-time job at a Shopping Town. When driving home after Friday nights working when I do have a panic I can say "So what, so my heart is starting to beat faster". I turn on the radio, breath properly, think positive thoughts, look around at others. I do stop the car if I feel I have to, then set off again. It is a much more pleasant journey that way, also think of it this way - once understanding the problem, practise to overcome it - life is too short to be wasted! Good Wishes to All. KIM -VIC.

-Dear S.W.A.G. As a sufferer I hope that I can bring reassurance to others. Being ignorant of the situation for a number of years, I am sure contributed to me being what I would term a "manufactured agoraphobic". Had my GP made me aware in the first instance what could possible happen to me then I am sure my problem would have not turned out quite as bad ! My main reason for this assumption is that no one is quite as apprehensive of something which can be expected, as opposed to the unexpected, which proves extremely fearful. I am convinced it is the many traumatic panics one experiences, quite unexpectedly and with ignorance that leads many of us who suffer agoraphobia, to think we are going 'crazy' and immediately form the opinion of something mentally wrong. Because of these re-occurring and alarming feelings - then they don't wish to or are even too frightened to talk to someone about it. The agoraphobe becomes a good actor regarding hiding these feelings from others and sometimes drives us to say things to cover up our limitations that make us untrue to ourselves. Let me tell you what I regard as one of the most important issues - do not fight this situation - for goodness sakes tell someone or talk to someone about it, whether it be a doctor or someone close to you. Bring it all out into the open and do not be afraid that you may be humiliated. You will face the situation far better than trying alone. You will receive some understanding from the person, but we know that not everyone will react favourably. If the opinion of "Snap out of it" is the answer there would be no agoraphobics for that would be easy for everyone. Thank God there is help and answers to this dibilitating condition and so many these days understand and are eager to support us as we move towards complete recovery. ANDREW - WEST YORKSHIRE- U.K.

-Dear S.W.A.G. I have just spent a wonderful three and half weeks touring Victoria and New South Wales with my husband and daughters ! We travelled by boat from Devonport to Melbourne with our car and am please to report I enjoyed the trip very much ! I joined in with everything my family wanted to do including a tour through the Bendigo Pottery and Parliament House at Canberra, plus a ride in an elevator up the Telecom tower in A.C.T. also I enjoyed shopping in the many big stores. I am planning my next trip as I am very proud of myself ! I am still experiencing some problems, mainly with the bus, but the plusses certainly outweigh the minuses ! Those of us who are lucky enough to have helpers must realise that they are the ones that also need a pat on the back ! Mine in particular is the most wonderful, patient friend who is always there when you need her help. Those of you who are thinking about that much wanted holiday, I can assure you it was the best medicine ! I have come home very relaxed and happy. Sincere Wishes to All. BRIONY -TAS.

-Dear S.W.A.G. I used to turn to alcohol because of ag/ph but I have become a Christian and that has helped me so much. Thanks to another sufferer who has helped me greatly. People Who Care rang me also helped me. All the Very Best to All. BRUCE - W.A.

-Dear S.W.A.G. The way back may be different for each one of us - we are not competing in a race, we did not start at the same time, so will not all arrive together. "Learning to be YOU" is the name of the game - so don't compete with your friends. Plot your own course and stick to it; go at your own pace. If you are confined to the house it is ideal to drop what you are doing and go out into the garden a couple of minutes a day. Then three and so on, until you feel you can open the gate and venture out. Then if you have paving stones outside, count a few, then a few more; the next day and so on, until you can make the corner. Car travel is difficult for some. At least it was for me. I faced this by sitting in the back seat, now I sit in the front seat wearing my seat belt. Every trip, short journeys too! Others find riding their bike is helpful; they go farther than they would, walking on their own. Of course, many here also rely on taxis in order to get to work. It is my belief that some folk are a little too ambitious, they set themselves a goal which is way above their capabilities at a certain particular time. We need to keep reminding the public that this is a disability not a neurosis, so that we are not ashamed to be agoraphobic which some of us are still today ! Good Wishes. SYLVIA - KENT- U.K.

-Dear S.W.A.G. It is so encouraging to read how others are going, I don't feel so alone any more. I have been progressing very well and my Psychologist has been pleased with me. I have been walking to my mother's place on my own and walking the dog at night around the race track and I finally made it to the Bank so I am very pleased with myself. I can go into a shop without my husband sometimes - this is all due to finding out what my problem was !!! I breathe correctly and was told to slow down when walking as I was trying to go too fast. This has helped. Regards to All. ANGELA - BEACHMERE- QLD.

STATE WIDE AGORAPHOBIA GROUP (AUSTRALIA) INCORPORATED
Email address: swag@tne.net.au Phone: 08 8294 6543 Mobile: 0412 226 117

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